Pain and Sorrow

So how in the world do the families of those afflicted by the VT massacre go on? How should each of us respond when we face the pain and sorrow in our own lives

A few books, articles, and blogs have helped remind me of how to react, where to go, and that there can be some hope and purpose for those hurting. Brian McLaren's blog, Henri Nouwen's Wounded Healer, and a friend of mine's blog, along with a book Principles of Trauma are some places to check out if you need to or if you get a chance.

Along with these resources, scripture is obviously a central place for words of purpose and explanation in the face of pain and sorrow. Some of the most commonly quoted pieces in regard to this topic is in James, where we are told that trials are there for our own growth, allowing us to become more and more like Christ and near to Him through the trial. While this is so true, it is important when helping another grieve that simply telling them this can actually discourage them. From Principles of Trauma, "Some traumatic events are so overwhelming that they make growth extremely difficult; they may involve so much loss that is seems impossible (if not disrespectful) to suggest any eventual positive outcomes to the person." So telling someone that there current circumstance is really a good thing is far from helping. Furthermore, telling the person to "look on the bright side, can easily be seen as dismissive and unempathic."

What people so desperately need is to have someone beside them. The person may want to know, "Do I have someone who seeks to be with me through my misery, or am I alone?" God did not leave us alone, but He entered into our world - Jesus did not tell us that through wounds there is healing, but demonstrated it to us - just as scripture says, "By His wounds we are healed."